the bartending nanny

friends and family,

if you’re reading this, it’s because i value your prayers. during the first week of july, i will be moving to the mott haven neighborhood of the south bronx to answer my heavenly father’s calling. this monthly (at least) e-mail will inform you specifically of how you can pray for this move, the people of mott haven, this ministry and myself. i know some of you have heard this story and some haven’t, but i think it best to start at the beginning. before i go on, please know that i take no glory in this. anything that sounds like piety is merely excitement over what God has done through a broken thing like me. he who has promised is faithful.

last fall, around halloween, i had a vivid daydream. i was 16 again, and i was coming forward at my home church to answer a call of “full time vocational christian service”. then, a voice i believe to be God’s said, “this is still true for you”, before i snapped back to reality. truth is, that daydream IS reality. it really happened to me when i was 16. i believed this vision to be a gentle and patient reminder from God that he had called me and that he would hold me up should i find the courage to follow him. 14 years later, God had not given up on me.

over the course of the next few months, i sought counsel, met with pastors, prayed and fasted. i pleaded with God for specific instruction. sometime in december, sara frazier began to bring some middle school boys down from mott haven to the trinity grace church youth group. my small group happens to be middle school boys, so they were sent to me. i loved getting to know these two guys, a pair of brothers who couldn’t be more different in personality or more similar in devotion to one another. i decided i wanted to get to know the boys on their own turf and not just on wednesday nights for an hour, so i asked sara to meet me for coffee.

after rescheduling a couple of times, sara and i met at a starbucks on the lower east side on a december friday night. my cousin, rachel, was coming into town around the same time and had agreed to meet me at the same starbucks to wait patiently for me during what i assumed would be a 30 minute meeting. sara was to get on a plane the next morning to head home to texas. i even had a meeting with our youth pastor, tyler, scheduled for directly after. what began as a quick chat about the best time for me to head to sara’s neighborhood and be introduced to the boys’ parents turned into a two hour session of encouragement and vision. you see, a couple of days before our coffee meet-up, i had seen a video that our church made about sara and what is happening through her in the bronx. i now had more to discuss than just her boys in my small group. i thought sara was someone who had been where i currently was in regards to calling and seeking God for direction; someone who could help me. so as we sat down for coffee, i asked her for her story. after a few sentences, i had my journal out and was taking notes. when sara stopped talking, my cousin, rachel, who had sat still and silent the entire time, was writing a check out to sara’s ministry. i had texted tyler to let him know i wouldn’t make it to grill out, drink beers and watch basketball. something special was happening, and i had to see it through.

i didn’t leave that starbucks knowing that the south bronx was where i was headed. i didn’t really consider it. i was inspired and encouraged, but was a bit too dense, maybe, to see what was right in front of me. i decided i would commit to spending time with my small group guys in their neighborhood. there were now 2 sets of brothers, 4 total boys, that made up my small group. one of the greatest lessons i’ve learned about youth ministry in new york city is the importance of knowing whole families, not merely students. this is not your typical southern baptist youth group. the best way to meet parents and families is to go right to the front doorstep and knock, so starting in early january, i started heading to front doors in the south bronx. i began to hear from pastors and friends who’d been praying for me. i had sent an e-mail requesting prayer for God to show me specifically what this vision meant. five separate meetings with individual pastors and friends revealed that God had been revealing his answer to them in their private prayers for me. as gary put it, “as i pray for you, God is telling me two words, and those words are “south” and “bronx”.” gary’s really funny. what a blessing that those i reached out to would actually pray for me, as i’m asking y’all to do, and that God would give these five folks the same answer.

as confirming as these answers to prayer were, i still wanted to hear it for myself, and then on january 22, as i walked down the busy streets of manhattan, God calmly spoke this same truth to me; that i was to serve and live in the south bronx.

that’s the origin story. there have been a myriad of little happenings and huge occurrences since. i’ve seen my small group grow to 6. two weeks ago, i prayed in a bar with a 15 year old as he decided to follow Jesus. i spend almost every monday having a neighborhood family dinner there, getting to know families and growing close to folks from newborn to middle-aged. God is good.

so here i am, meaning here we are. this is also the point where the e-mail turns from the narrative to the informative. this is where i ask of you without offering anything back but gratitude, reciprocated prayer and the promise of hard work. i may grow weary, but with God’s help, i will not grow weary in doing good.

let me first share why i value your prayers…

family… two years ago, i was fresh out of spending 11 months in jail. it is ONLY because of your prayers and correspondence that i not only survived but thrived while there. i fell in love with scripture again. i realized my gifts as a leader and exercised them within my dorm there. i taught and preached, albeit at a subpar level, learning as i went. i rediscovered true prayer and relationship with my truest father. none of this would’ve happened, i truly believe, without your prayers, calls and letters both during and after that experience. i believe you to be people of prayer; folks who believe as i do: that our mistakes (and successes, for that matter) don’t determine God’s outpouring of love toward us. you are people who love with your lives, and i am glad to call you family. there are many specific examples i could give (and not only while i was in jail but over my whole life), but due to the lengthiness of this letter already, i’ll give only three:

1. richard (my cousin) and megan murphy’s son, taylor, has never met me, but his parents allowed him to know and understand where i was and why they prayed for me as a family while i was in jail. one of my brightest days in jail came when i opened a letter from their family to find letters written by richard, megan… and taylor, a child i have still never met in person. we need to remedy that soon, by the way.

2. my granddaddy, venable artis murphy, sr., and i have never communicated very well over long distances. during my time in jail, we wrote back and forth at least 4 or 5 times; hand-written letters from both sides, a grandfather and his oldest grandchild talking scripture and truth.

3. my brother and sister-in-law, patrick and teresa murphy, helped to ransom my life and usher me into life in the big city. they’ve spent vacation time in florida looking at me through visitation glass, and they’ve spent these last two years giving me work and a place to stay. being available to God in this city would not have been possible without them and their unconditional love.

pastors… you’ve been in this with me from the beginning. thank you for remaining faithful to renewing all things for the kingdom in new york city alongside our heavenly father. your responses after my e-mail last fall, both personal and electronic, meant much and spurred me on with courage and edification towards being still, listening and obeying. from you, i’ve learned to abide before doing, usually INSTEAD of doing. i am so thankful to consider each of you my personal friend. the last nearly two years of life within this city and church have drawn a few of us very close, and i praise God for that influence. three examples (of quite a few):

1. gary wiley and i have been meeting regularly for more than a year. it has helped to define the last year of my life, and he is someone i trust implicitly.

2. billy patterson has taught me (without knowing he was) how to be a husband and father. his trust and advice is worth more than everyone in this city will make in their lifetimes combined.

3. tyler staton not only pastors an area where i serve, but has become a close friend. he keeps me young and knows how to balance nba basketball talk and discipleship planning, weaving celebration throughout.

(4. i can’t honor my brother’s service to our collective church enough, but i said only three…)

fellow youth volunteers… this has been a crazy year, where we’ve seen much growth, adapted to the changes we’ve had to make on the fly and loved the hell out of a bunch of kids. some to most of you have known about at least a bit of this journey, but even if you didn’t, the youth of the south bronx were the first folks i began to know there. we’ve wept and laughed through prayer together over the lives of these kids and their families in this city, so how could i exclude this? i see you all regularly, but i’ll still give three specific examples of your edification:

1. colleen fee asks me every time i see her when i will begin e-mailing folks about this journey. well, here it is, girl. thanks for encouraging me to put heart to outbox.

2. lance villio, your ability to turn the dial between crazy and gentle amazes me in both its appropriateness and poignancy. thanks for the early morning chat in your kitchen during the staytreat. when’re we going fishing? :)

3. tiffany, your commitment to sara’s ministry is inspiring. your influence and wisdom stretches beyond borders. if you ever start (SPOILER ALERT) an east village bible study for women, those ladies have no idea how their worlds will be rocked.

friends… this is a broad term, but those of you who are not family, pastors or fellow youth volunteers are in this category. you are the people, and there are others whose e-mail addresses i do not have that i hope you will forward this to, who have stuck with me from memphis to orlando to clinton to jacksonville to lakeland to nyc. thank you for remaining unconditional in your friendship and steadfast in your support. examples:

1. luke schrimsher, you have shown me how a man our age can pick himself up, dust himself off and emerge victorious in Jesus. every time i see a big buck hunter video game, i think of us.

2. daniel berry, your encouragement to me in my writing spurs me toward more of it. if i can do half as much for you, i’ve succeeded as your friend.

3. kasey taylor, words can’t express it, man. i see you as a biological brother, paternity tests be damned. your gifts in word and material are equally meaningful in my life.

all these reasons and more are why i value your prayers. now, and in conclusion, how can you pray?

1. pray that i will continue to abide in Jesus, being still, listening and obeying. pray that i will boldly fight the lies the enemy has used to distract and beat me down in the past.

2. pray for this community by name, that God would bring his kingdom to the south bronx as it is in heaven.

3. pray for more volunteers to join us in this.

4. pray for this ministry as we develop rhythm, that we would follow God’s leading, not leaning on our own understanding.

i will be far more specific as time goes on, but for now, feel free to pass this on, write me back and keep me accountable. far more important than anything else you can do for me is pray, actually pray. i know this first e-mail is long, but it warrants length.

thanks for reading,

benjamin

— benjamin artis murphy 321 beekman avenue, #2 bronx, new york 10454 407.267.2656